The Hina Dreads
by hahahahuhuhu
Summary: You know just from looking at the title....okay, incase you don't it's a kind of crossover between vandread and love hina
1. Default Chapter

.:The Hina Dreads:.  
  
Disclaimer: I have no right of Love Hina nor Vandread. And I'm sorry that I used some seiyuu's name without permission (heck, who would have get one) remember this is just a fic so don't be mad…*winks* the Japanese translation will be on the bottom, can't help writing without some jap in it :D No translation to the song though  
  
Author's note: This fic is a complete waste of time, don't read it if you aren't prepared to face some baka fic, and I had a migraine when I wrote this. Who'd know what I'll write in this fic  
  
Chap 1: Introduction  
  
*Seta stood in front of the cheering crowds, ripping his head of with a smug grin on his face*  
  
Seta: Welcome! To the grand opening of the Hina Dreads play! Now I will read out the casts!  
  
*Appearing one by one as he read the names out loud*  
  
Seta: (Still with his ear to ear grin) Urashima Keitarou as…Hibiki!!!!  
  
Keitaro: (Appears out of nowhere) Eh? Anoo nice to see you guys…ha ha…(scratching the back of his head with utter confusion)  
  
~Back stage~  
Haruka: (Lits her 10th cigarette) Kitsune, are you sure you taught him how to act the day before?  
  
Kitsune: Hmmm…no. Why?(Peeping slyly on Keitaro though a hole as she answered Haruka)  
  
Haruka: I thought so  
  
~Back at the main stage~  
Seta: Now…introducing the main character, Narusegawa Naru as Ditaaaaaaaa!  
  
Naru: Hello, I will be playing as Dita in this play, yurushiku! (Waving her hand abruptly, not in any mood to show her nervousness)   
  
Crowds: (Cheering and whistling to Naru, causing her to blush)   
  
*And so then, Seta continued to read their names*  
  
Seta: (As always…smug grin…)Now…Aoyama Motoko, a heir of a traditional dojo Shinmei-ryu  
  
Crowds: (Ohhhh and ahhhhs were heard)  
  
Seta: Will be playing as….Jura, the make up psych-  
  
*Suddenly was heard a loud wham as a stick came flat onto Seta'a face*  
  
Jura (the real Jura from the series): How dare you call me a make up psycho??? !!! I promise you'll regret having this play going!!! (Puts the finger on Seta)  
  
Haruka: (Head pops between the curtain and whispers just only loud enough for Jura to hear) We've arranged this show to fix and maintain the Hinata inn as well as your dreads, so, we both need it. Don't screw it up(she returns to the back stage)  
  
Jura: (Realizing what she have done)Umm…sorry Seta-kun…ohohohoho(laughed nervously before withdrawing into the Nirvana parked on the backyard)  
  
Motoko: (Appeared shortly after Jura) Why did the heck I have to get this role?(Cursing silently) Ja ne minna san (stomping away after saying that)  
  
*So everything cleared and Seta continued his task*  
  
Seta: Sorry for the interruption! And the next role is…Asakawa Yuu as Motoko-chan!   
  
Asakawa-san: Huh? I'm supposed to be in the studio…(sweat dropped when she saw the crowds, all in confusion)  
  
Motoko: Why am I here again? (Looks slightly disgusted with all of this) And why in the whole world did I get to face my dubber? Aww…hell, Should I get her autograph?   
  
Seta: (Still as cheery as ever) And her song is Tsuki no Gotoku!  
  
*Suddenly Tsuki no Gotoku was playing in the background*  
  
Asakawa-san: (Her casual cloth suddenly changed into a leather pants and jacket, the sort that she wore for her concert in Love Hina Final Selection) Arashi kake- what am I doing!! ??(Automatically sings)   
  
Author's note: Maybe she didn't actually wore a leather pant, but you who haven't had a single peek at her long dress (ahem) or you're just slow, you wouldn't notice it. She actually wore a leather pant bellow her dress, and I would not consider it as a dress cause it was split half in the front(I went to the concert)  
  
*Crowds pleading to hear more*  
  
Seta: (Doesn't seem to mind) And here is it! Horie Yui as Naru-chan!!!!  
Horie-san: (Appeared beside Asakawa Yuu) where am I?(looks around, bewildered)  
  
Naru: (Without much talking, she went to where Horie-san stood and asked for an autograph)   
  
Horie-san: Yuukure Chiisana kage ga hashai de watashi wo tori su-(tsuki no gotoku was replaced by yakusoku and again, her voice rolled out of her mouth without her triggering it) Get me outa here!  
  
~Back stage~  
Haruka: What was that geezer doing? (Tapped her forehead)  
  
Kitsune: I would love if he called Noda Junko-sama (Eyes starry)  
  
Haruka: Shinobuuuu!  
  
Shinobu: (With an apron and frying pan on hand) H-hai?  
  
Haruka: (Still looking outside through the peeping hole) What did the heck you gave him?  
  
Shinobu: (Blank for a moment but then came back to her senses) I gave him a Love Hina Concert script for the second page!!(runs to the main stage carrying the scripts)  
  
Kitsune: He knew that he's reading the wrong thing and yet he still read it? I don't know a person that dumb existed (sweat drop)  
  
Haruka: Same here  
  
~Main Stage~  
  
*Shinobu came running into the stage, the crowds adored her because of her cuteness*   
  
Shinobu: (Waving the scripts in front of Seta's face) G-gomen this is the script, ano…(starts crying) UWAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Naru: S-Shinobu…this isn't your fault…ummm…so you just stay inside until your name is called, yeah?  
  
Shinobu: Hic…okay…I…hic…will   
  
*As soon as the matters were settled, he reads the following casts*  
  
Seta: You Seiyuu guys can go…and you too, Naru-chan and Motoko-chan…  
*So they went back to their original position, the seiyuus to where they were supposed to be and the girls to the back stage*  
  
Seta: The next role issssssss Kitsune-chan as Barnett!  
Kitsune: (wearing bikinis) Hello…!(acting sexy) Nice to meet ya!  
  
Seta: Wowww (thumbs up when Kitsune appeared) And next it is Haruka as Meia !!!!!!  
  
Haruka: Yeah great…now I'm playing as that whacko…(sighed heavily)  
  
Crowds: BOOO!  
  
~Back Stage~  
  
Meia: Kuso, I heard that! She called me a whacko?  
  
Jura: He he he he he hu hu hu hu hu (keeps laughing to no end)  
  
Barnett: I think she's still stressed out, from a man calling her a make up psycho…(sweat drop)  
  
Shirai: Wow Haruka-san! I want her! (Eyes sparkling with stars)  
  
Haitani: Mann, you sure had a weird taste  
  
~Main stage~  
Seta: Hah…hah (exhausted) Sorry guys! I want to rest a few hours, so Kei-kun will be leadin' the show!  
  
Kei: (Pushed from the back stage) Oh yeah, I forgot that Seta needs rest to. Sooo…NANI? He took the script with him!  
  
~Back stage~  
Haruka: Ah well, that idiotic ruined the show. Kitsune! Time for plan B!  
  
Kitsune: Roger! (Handed a board to Keitaro) Show it to them  
  
~Main Stage~  
Keitaro: OK…all of you! Here come all of the minor casts! Suit your self by reading this board! (Raises the board high so that everyone can see)  
  
IN the board was written:  
  
Duero: Haitani  
Bart: Shirai  
Gascogne: Mutsumi  
Magno: Hina ba-chan  
Pyoro: Tama chan   
Parfet: Kentaro  
Narrator: Seta   
Director's assistant: Shinobu  
Kei: So the introduction is over, we will be back in an hour!  
  
INTRODUCTION ENDED  
  
Jap translations:  
Yurushiku:Nice to meet you  
Tsuki no Gotoku:Like the moon  
Yakusoku:Promise  
Gomen:Sorry  
Kuso:Damn/shit  
Seiyuu:Dubber(did I spell it right? It has a red mark bellow it when I wrote in Microsoft word, or does it even exist?) 


	2. chappie 2

Author: I know that this story was nothing but some boring story…I recommend you to exit this story immediately, or else who knows what'll happen to you? *inserts evil laughter here*  
  
"=Thoughts  
  
Cast's parody:  
  
Naru: What!? I have to cook for Keitaro??? (outrageous)  
  
Behind her Motoko and Kitsune were whispering to each other.  
  
Motoko: I think we should give Urashima some anti-stomach ache medicine…  
  
Kitsune: Nah…he would be just fine, immortal's wouldn't die because of some girl's cooking…  
  
Director: Now! Urashima! You try Narusegawa's cooking first, and then decide…shall we use her cooking or fake it with Maehara's food?  
  
Keitaro: Ah, hai…  
  
He starts eating, but paused a few sec before…  
  
Keitarou: AARRGHH!!!! What do you use on this!! ???? It's sour, sweet, salty and…GOTTA GO TO THE TOILET!!!  
  
Kitsune: I'll take back my words…(sweatdrops)  
  
.::Nirvana as usual…::.  
  
Barnett: (acts in a 'normal' manner) Hey Juraaa, wanna have a party tonight?   
  
Jura: Kit, no, Barnett, I-I don't understand what're you talking…  
  
Narrator: Jura backs away from Barnett who's looking more drunk and more flirty than usual.   
  
Barnett: Awww, come on…you know we've done 'that' yesterday, and you liked it right? Why don't we recall that memories right here?  
  
Shinobu: (Fainted from the scene)  
  
Narrator: Suddenly Hibiki crashes straight at them, causing all three of them to fall face first onto the ground.  
  
Barnett: What d'ya do that for? Jura was just about to lure into my trap!  
  
Jura: Thank god…I'll have to ask Jura and Barnett about this…(Runs away from the still upset Kitsune)  
  
Hibiki: GOMEN! Ahhh! TASUKETTEKURE!!!  
  
Narrator: Chasing after him were Duero and Bart, they burst past Barnett and continued to chase Hibiki down the hall. Kei-kun, you should learn Ji Kun Do from me!  
  
Hibiki: Seta-san! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU GUYS??? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE IN MY ROOM, SLEEPING PEACEFULY!!  
  
Duero: This is the punishment to make us the secondary characters!!! (Grabs Hibiki and kicked him continuously)  
  
Bart: Plus you've got many times to spend with Naru-chan!! (Joins Duero)  
  
Hibiki: (Pass out)  
  
Director: CUT!!! Bring em' back to the back stage! Shinobu, close the curtains, please, and do something to entertain the audience while we settle things up!   
  
Narrator: So, the director, Duero and Haitani carries Hibiki to the back stage. Meanwhile, Shinobu and Mutsumi (without meaning to) had already entertained the audiences with their silly acts. (Shinobu with her fussing all over Keitarou, and Mutsumi with her fainting habbit)  
  
~Back Stage~  
  
Director: Get a bucket of water and give it to me!  
  
*Over all of this fuss, Motoko was still shocked of Kitsune, so she decided to ask Jura and Barnett about it*  
  
Motoko: Ummm, anoo…are you really with Barnett you know, done 'that'?  
  
*Jura stared at her, clueless. She moved onto a more comfortable sitting position beside Barnett, resting her head on Barnett's shoulder.*  
  
Motoko: "Maybe it's true…" That kind of thing that usually (blushes) partners do…  
  
Jura: Of course, we've done it a few times in this week, right Barnett?  
  
Barnett: Yeah, Kitsune acted the right way   
  
-Then they started kissing…-  
  
Motoko: (Face turned very red) I-I gotta go…  
  
Jura: (After Motoko has disappeared) Got her! Did she actually believe that I'm that active?  
  
Barnett: Jura, I think that you should stop that kind of behavior, which can ruin our reputation (sighed heavily)  
  
Jura: So, how about tonight?  
  
Barnett: NOOO!!!  
  
*Back at the Keitaro's fainting scene*  
  
Director: Haitani, Shirai! Look at what've you done!  
  
Haitani: Sorry…but he can be with Narusegawa-chan anytime he likes!  
  
Director: Heck, I'm starting to get jealous at him, but the REAL important thing is to continue this play, get me some electric shock device!  
  
Shirai: Yes sir! (Runs to grab it)  
  
Director: (After having the thing) Put it in the highest voltage!  
  
Haitani: ROGER!  
  
Director: (Starts to 'help' Keitaro)  
  
Keitaro: AHHH!!!!  
  
Director: Good, that should do it (Throws the electrocuted Keitaro to the main stage)  
  
Naru: I think you'll kill him…  
  
~Main Stage~  
  
Narrator: So, the story has once again, started! (Pauses to look at Keitaro) Yaaa…Kei-kun, you're really lucky!  
  
Hibiki: Ore ga Hibiki!  
  
Narrator: Oh, all right, Hibi-kun. So Dita was chasing after Hibiki, but Hibiki was running absurdly, why is that?? Well, we'll see!  
  
Dita: Ero Kappa Perverted kappa! Come back here! How dare did you touch my chest!! (Chasing Hibiki in such a speed that normal humans can't possibly do)   
  
Pedophiles: (Booing and cursing to Hibiki)  
  
Parfet: (Suddenly appearing beside Dita, gripping her shoulder) If you don't like Hibiki, why don't you date me?   
  
Dita: AAAAAH!! PERVERT!!! (High jump kick Parfet)  
  
Narrator: STRIIIIKEEEE!!!! Dita-chan's high jump kick landed straight on da target!!  
  
Parfet: NARUSEGAWAAAAA!!!! ME LUV YOO!!!  
  
End of chappie 2 


	3. Chappie 3

Chappie 3!!! Horay!!!  
  
Didn't I tell you to quit reading this story? *readers start to turn around* Eeeh? Wait! Don't go, I swear I won't tell you to leave ever again!!!...no one likes my fic anyway *cries* Sorry, but it was suck a pain to see only two reviews…thanks zzzzz(I don't know how many zs, sorry) you're the only one reading my damn fic T_T I'm wearing out of humor senses, may be I should discontinue this fic? *sighs*  
  
Chappie 3: Meia's marvelous Debut  
  
~~~Stage~~~  
  
Narrator: So Parfet-chan hits the ceiling and went through it, creating a hole that was weirdly shaped like a… monkey is distress?  
  
Dita: (shouts at the hole where Parfet disappears) DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!!! YOU ABNORMAL PEDOPHILE GROPING MANIAC!!!!!! (Turns to audience, bows and smiles innocently)   
  
Audience- (Sweatdrops)  
  
Naru - Hahaha, a bit drunk is he- I mean she (smiles more innocently) don't bother about her, now-  
  
Parfet: (flies back through the hole he created earlier) MUAAAACH!!! WAIT FOR ME DITAAAAA!!!!!   
  
Dita: What the-!  
  
Parfet: (Lands on top of Dita with a loud thump and a pair of swirly eyes, holding Dita's *ehem* curvy part. Dita's now unconscious.) Uuugh…according to the script, I'm supposed to land softly on top of Dita and then she was feeling sorry for me and then..and then…we started to kiss then we slowly make ou-  
  
Director: (Hit's Parfet's head with a fan he borrowed from Genjo Sanzo) Get your hands off her breast!! You sick wacko maniac!!!! How dare you!!  
  
Parfet: …(faints from the hit)  
  
Kitsune, Haruka, Motoko, Keitaro, Shirai, Haitani – (Pops their head out of the red curtain and looked at the Parfet-shaking director with a -_- expression.  
  
Director: (Stops shaking Parfet) Eek? Er- I- Oh, whatever! I'm the director here, you know! I can do whatever I want! (Ignoring the suspicious glances from the audience) You! And You! (Points to Haitani and Shirai) Grabs these two back to the backstage!   
  
Haitani: Aww, we always got to carry the victims from this damn play! Hey! I got to carry Naru-chan!! You already have Haruka-san, while I have none!  
  
Shirai: You sick-   
  
Director: Sorry audience! We have some problem here! Please wait while we settle things out (lets out an angelic green, the type that babies give you)   
  
Audience- (Groans)  
  
Director: (Stares at Haitani and Shirai) You two better get going! Or else I'll ground you in the attic!  
  
Shirai: What! No, please no! I don't want to see the boogey man. Alright, I'll carry Kentaro-uugh, as long as you don't make me see the boogey man! (Kicks Haitani's shin and they both went inside)  
  
Director: Good, you two! (Points to Motoko and Keitaro) come here!!  
  
Motoko & Keitaro: (Walks obediently to the director)  
  
Director: (Pushes Keitaro hard on his back)  
  
Keitaro: Aah! (Falls toward the unprepared Motoko, gripping her hakama, causing it to slid off) Mo-  
  
Motoko: (Shudders from rage) You- I thought you were changing lately, but it seems not! HIKEN! ZANKUUSEN!!!  
  
Director: That should do as an entertainment. Please enjoy our side show while we fix things up! (Bows, then turns back inside)  
  
~~~Backstage~~~  
  
Director: Duero! Can you repair this Kentaro for a bit?  
  
Duero- Yes, I believe we don't have any medical equipment here, but I think it can do with a closet clog.  
  
Director: Okay. Shinobuuuu!!!   
  
Shinobu- (Appears wearing a pair of poop stained gloves, with a closet clog on each hand) What can I do for you? (looks at Kentaro and Naru's unconscious body) Oh my, what happened?  
  
Director: Just a normal daily routine, can you hand Duero the clog please?  
  
Shinobu- (hands Duero the clog) What would you do with this?  
  
Duero- (As cold as always) You'll see (clogs Kentaro's face and pulled it violently)  
  
Kentaro- AAAAHHH! Help me! Hey, ouch! That hurts! What did ya do that for? (glares angrily and the poker faced Duero)  
  
Duero- Nothing much, I'm just waking your lazy ass off. Director, shall I treat Narusegawa now? (moves to Naru's body)  
  
Director- (smiles wickedly at Kentaro) Yes, please. Get the medical things in you ship and treat her with full concern.  
  
Haruka- (Lights her 128th cigarette since the play starts) Hey, Keitaro's fainted, Seta's giving insane comments and Motoko-chan's wearing out. Don't you think we should start soon?  
  
Director- I don't know…it's just that Naru, Motoko or Keitaro surely wouldn't be able to continue, and I surely don't want to use that orange head just yet. Do any of you have any suggestions?  
  
Hinata and original vandread characters- (stares blank eyed at him)  
  
Kitsune- Oh, oh, (raises hand) I think I got an idea. We could use Haruka and me to continue the play!  
  
Haruka- Here goes Kitsune's wicked plan…(sighs heavily, blowing out a puff of smoke)  
  
Director- We really got nothing to do apart from that…okay Kitsune, grab Meia and continue the damn freaking show  
  
Kitsune- Roger! (grabs Haruka by her Hinata tea apron and dragged her out to the blinding stage)  
  
End of chappie 3. 


End file.
